Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
