Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
