you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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