Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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