living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we're making bets on your personal life
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
