i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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