oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
