you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize