Define "chronic" masturbator.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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