that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
