He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
