She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize