Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
