Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
accomplished twins. life is a go
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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