She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
