Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
