The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
