Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
