Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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