I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
