doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize