Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
