It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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