My balls are so social today.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
