they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
