is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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