You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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