Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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