I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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