Only a mothe r could love this liver
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
