Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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