What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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