just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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