Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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