Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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