they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
