you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
