Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Randomize
