Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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