What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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