2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
