some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
