i think my tv is drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
