the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You need a sexual gate keeper
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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