Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
