Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
