someone threw a dead crab at me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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