sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
