we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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