sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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