i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
and you fell through a lawn chair
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
