how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
