i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
