Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
