my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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