i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
