WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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