Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
