you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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