i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
