We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
