I forgot how hot balto sounded
you didnt know i had herpes?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
